What's Resonating this Week: #13

From "Stupid Tents" to Simple Joy

Yep, time for another installment of what's currently buzzing in my world. Here we go.

Right now, I'm swimming in a damn ocean of way too much.

For me, 2025 is shaping up to be a definite "five" year. And it's got that distinct Five of Wands energy hanging around it. Funnily enough, my Tarot Tracker for the year has the King of Wands holding court in the top spot, while the Queen of Wands is in a five-way tie for fifth (alongside Wands Four, Six, and Eight). Go figure.

Five of Wands - Rider Waite Smith deck

A friend of mine hilariously dubs the Five of Wands "the stupid tent card."

Why "stupid"?

Because the visual looks exactly like five people completely failing to put up a tent.

Each one is operating from their own supposedly brilliant perspective, convinced their way is the only right way.

The supposed shared goal? Get the fucking tent up.

Maybe they're exhausted, maybe there's a storm barreling down. Whatever the reason, the tent needs to be UP.

And they're epically failing. Because they absolutely cannot sync up. Can't even take a breath long enough to see what the hell is going wrong.

It's screaming "Ready. FIRE! Aim" at the top of its lungs.

And yeah, that's feeling a little too close to home right now.

It's like my idea freeway is completely jammed. Every single idea is fighting for a lane, and as a result, nothing is really moving forward.

Part of me is itching to dive deep into my executive coaching biz. That feels like the most direct route to some serious, life-changing income.

Another part is obsessed with the idea of building an app to help people track the patterns in their tarot practice more easily.

Then there's the part of me that just wants to disappear down esoteric rabbit holes all day -- sometimes into literature, sometimes into the murky depths of my own unconscious mind.

Yet another part is convinced I need to buckle down and make my "muggle job" career something I can actually stomach long-term.

And, of course, the siren call of starting the next hit sci-fi/fantasy series that all my friends will become completely obsessed with is strong.

And honestly, these are just five of the myriad of contenders in the chaotic circus of my mind right now.

Inside my weary AuDHD¹ head is this constant roar of voices, all clamoring to do really cool, amazing, and helpful things. And my executive dysfunction has slammed the brakes on all of it, like rush hour traffic grinding to a halt because of some idiot rubbernecking at an accident.

Where the hell did focus go?

Focus is dead. Focus remains dead. And we have killed him. How will we ever comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers?

Always wanted to shoehorn some Nietzsche in there². Guess today's the day.

See? The only reason any of this feels like a problem is because I'm letting myself buy into the illusion of limitations. If everything is truly mind, if we're creating our reality, if time is just a construct, then that construct only holds me back if I choose to give it that power.

Scarcity whispers that I have to use my time "wisely."

Scarcity implies that I need to earn my freedom and my right to take up space in this world.

Scarcity screams that focus is the golden ticket to anything worthwhile.

I don't want to focus.

I want to play.

I loved playing as a kid. Using my imagination. Being creative without judgement. Just letting come what may come.

Things I don't remember:

• thinking that I was running out of time

• thinking that making the wrong choice now might ruin the future

• thinking that I was missing out on something by focusing on something else

While my memories are quite the opposite of crystal clear, the emotion attached to them is so easy to capture in a single word:

Joy.

Let's get back there...

In other news…

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Thank you so much for spending time with me here at Contemplating Resonance. It’s truly and honor and a privilege to share my ideas with you and to amplify the voices of other amazing humans from this platform.

Cheers!

1. AuDHD refers to the comorbidity of Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). I was formally diagnosed with both of these conditions in 2024.

2. Original quote is “God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers?” from The Gay Science, by Friedrich Nietzsche.