What's Resonating This Week: #6
TODO
Howdy, folx. Welcome to another edition of What’s Resonating This Week!
It’s a bit lonely here at the top.
The top of what you ask? The top of my two nascent businesses. There’s no one in the corporate office except for yours truly.
Many days that feels incredibly empowering.
But not today.
Today, it feels like I’m the one person preventing each hill I climb from becoming the avalanche that buries me in ruin. This is my “new job.” It’s my throne of thorns to sit upon.
Until recently, I’d spent the entirety of my career working for someone else.
It only hit me recently when a friend reminded me that September 2, 20241, is a U.S. bank holiday. My father texted today to ask if I had burgers on the grill. The American Labor Day holiday couldn’t be further from my conscious radar.
No, Dad, I’m not grilling burgers.
I’m out here hustling.
When you’re working for yourself and have little revenue flowing, Labor Day hits differently.
I’m Still Alive
Would I rather be back in the pseudo-comfort of the corporate world, knowing that I have a paycheck coming in a few days?
NOPE.
Because I know I can do this, I deserve to do this. I’ve nothing holding me back except for my fear.
My fear isn’t misplaced. This isn’t an easy road, and a successful outcome is far from guaranteed—not that I believe there is an easy road. But I’m alive.
Sometimes, you need a little pain to remind yourself that you’re still here.
Life was the one thing I didn’t have much of in the pseudo-comfort of the corporate world. When your job is to use technology to increase the worth of ultra-high-net-worth individuals, it can be difficult to get that spring in your step on Monday morning. There’s not a non-toxic level of caffeine that makes it sustainable.
So, do I want to go back? No, because who wants to go back to dying a little bit every day so that someone else can get rich and I can have the opiate of apparent financial security?
I’d rather live. And so that’s what I continue to choose.
I Exist In This Equation
I love non-dualistic thinking.
Our society does not. Our society specializes in the production of duality. We want to categorize things into this or that—us and them, black and white, rich and poor, deserving and non-deserving.
The fastest way to get attention is to use social media to propose a dichotomy that puts many people on the wrong side.
But as easy as it is for me to point the finger at all of the false dichotomies causing so much pain and suffering in the world, it makes it equally easy for me to ignore the false dichotomies raging inside of me right now.
What is the right thing to do?
What’s the responsible course of action?
How do I keep my family safe and secure?
For most of my life, I’ve let these types of questions govern the decision making of my life. And I’ve behaved as if each has only one correct answer. And if you examine these questions closely, they’re even framed that way.
Who doesn’t want to do the right thing? Who doesn’t want to be responsible? Who doesn’t want to keep their family safe and secure?
The hardest thing to remember is that I am a part of the answer.
I’ve made many “right” decisions that have included a one-way ticket to my very own personal hell.
I’ve taken some responsible courses of action that have stabbed me in the heart.
I’ve often kept my family safe and secure by absorbing exterior threats without taking time to heal.
Does that mean it’s time to dive head-first into hedonistic nihilism?
No.
But it does mean that I can and will consider my happiness and well-being, choose work that I find meaningful and aligned with my soul’s purpose, and do what I believe gives us the best long-term chance at an abundant life.
Even if other people don’t like what I decide.
Even if things get even more challenging in the short term.
And I’m not going to feel guilty about that.
Let’s Pull Some Cards
What you don’t know is that we already have.
While pondering what to write this week, I had a fun idea. Why don’t I pull cards and let the Tarot dictate the topic of each section of the newsletter? So, everything you’ve read has been an extended reflection upon what came to me as I pondered each card.
For this exercise, I was drawn to the Grunge Tarot by Francesca Matteoni and Andrea Moresco.
For the introduction, I pulled the King of Swords. As soon as I saw the King, I felt the burden of being the CEO of a business with two distinctive brands, one employee, and no revenue. In the guide, the King is said to be sitting upon a “throne of thorns,” which resonates deeply as a metaphor for power balanced with painful responsibilities.
For the I’m Still Alive section, the Knight of Wands jumped out of the deck mid-shuffle. The theme song chosen for this card is Pearl Jam’s I’m Still Alive. As soon as I heard the chorus in my head, I knew I wanted to explore the theme of life beyond the despair of corporate employment.
Finally, Temperance2 appears as the theme for I Exist In This Equation. I adore Temperance, and it took me very little time to think of some non-dualistic questions to explore. For me, this card speaks to the continuous polarities that govern reality. The correct answer is always somewhere in between and in constant motion, just like everything in existence.
And Now For Something Completely Different
That’s all for this edition of What’s Resonating This Week! Catch you next Tuesday!
The day I’m writing this letter.
Also, my astrological Sun sign’s corresponding Major Arcana card.
Love how you let your card pulls inspire this post! Very cool idea.