S2E2: Escaping Perfection with Lyn Smith Gregory

Summary

In this eye-opening episode of Contemplating Resonance, Matt Stine welcomes Lyn Smith Gregory, great-grandniece of Joseph Smith, to discuss her journey of breaking free from the Mormon Church and navigating family estrangement. Lyn shares her deeply personal story of growing up in a high-control religious environment, where questioning authority was discouraged, and leaving the church meant losing her place in the family and community. This episode unpacks the lasting impacts of religious trauma and the challenges of redefining identity after faith deconstruction.

Lyn’s narrative highlights the psychological and emotional toll of perfectionism, purity culture, and patriarchal systems within the Mormon faith. She recounts the pivotal moments that led her to question her beliefs, from reading forbidden books to confronting discrepancies in church teachings. Lyn also reflects on the estrangement she experienced after leaving her faith, including the struggles to reconnect with her family while maintaining personal boundaries and honoring her truth.

This episode offers valuable insights for listeners navigating similar transitions. Lyn and Matt discuss tools for healing, such as therapy, yoga, meditation, and building supportive relationships. They explore the importance of fostering acceptance, setting boundaries, and finding common ground when rebuilding relationships with loved ones. Whether you’re deconstructing your faith or seeking to reconcile with estranged family members, this conversation provides a roadmap for reclaiming autonomy and creating a life aligned with your values.

Takeaways

• Leaving a high-control religion often involves not only losing faith but also facing estrangement from family and community.

• Questioning institutional authority and exploring forbidden knowledge can be pivotal steps in deconstructing faith.

• The psychological impacts of perfectionism, shame, and purity culture often linger long after leaving a high-control environment.

• Rebuilding relationships with estranged family members requires mutual willingness, boundaries, and a focus on shared values.

• Healing from religious trauma involves tools like therapy, meditation, and connecting with supportive communities.

Quoteables

• In high-control religions, questioning isn’t just discouraged—it’s seen as dangerous, a threat to the entire system. – Lyn Smith Gregory

• When I left the church, it felt like a trap door had opened beneath me, and I was falling into an unknown void. – Lyn Smith Gregory

• Perfectionism doesn’t vanish when you leave a high-control religion—it just shifts to new, unattainable standards. – Matt Stine

• Reconciliation isn’t the next step after leaving—it’s something you can only approach once you’ve done the deep inner work. – Lyn Smith Gregory

• Giving people the dignity of their own journey means listening without judgment and finding common ground, even in disagreement. – Lyn Smith Gregory

Notes

• Lynn’s Website

• Lynn’s YouTube Channel

• How to Tell if Your High Control Religion is a Cult (+ Support Resources!)

Chapters

• 00:00 - Introduction

Matt introduces the episode and welcomes guest Lyn Smith Gregory to share her journey.

• 02:09 - Growing Up in the Mormon Church

Lyn discusses her upbringing as a descendant of Joseph Smith, grappling with perfectionism and visibility within the church.

• 06:07 - The Moment of Doubt

Lyn recalls her university experience, exposure to forbidden texts, and the events that led her to question her faith.

• 12:26 - Facing Family Estrangement

Lyn describes the challenges of leaving the Mormon Church, including the emotional toll of estrangement from her family.

• 20:33 - The Impact of Purity Culture

The conversation shifts to how shame, body control, and worthiness interviews affect women in high-control religions.

• 27:35 - Starting the Healing Process

Lyn shares how therapy, yoga, and meditation helped her reconnect with her body, thoughts, and spirituality.

• 33:24 - Finding Common Ground with Family

Lyn talks about her family’s journey through therapy and rebuilding relationships despite differing beliefs.

• 40:47 - The Dignity of Individual Journeys

Lyn emphasizes the importance of respecting others’ paths and fostering connections through shared values.

• 47:53 - Conclusion

Matt and Lyn reflect on the power of storytelling, healing, and supporting others through similar journeys.